BULL'S EYE!

I suddenly realized that it's been a while since I last posted here.

It's been a busy month for me, in terms of my social life . And I must say, I am having sooo much fun!

After my interest in travel waned, I had more time to mingle with friends - old and new. And found, to my delight, that there's so much out there that I can and would like to do!

Talking to people is one of them. I used to be so anti-social, having a hard time opening up conversation with strangers. But after a few hesitant tries, to which those people have responded warmly to, I find it so easy to approach people now.

I have discovered that all it takes to talk to someone is a simple "hello". It works wonders, believe me.

Anyway, last weekend, I went with a newfound friend to a shooting range which he's been telling me about. I wasn't interested in target shooting before, but after he described it to me, I got curious and wanted to give it a try. Fortunately, my new friend was willing to take me there.

So off we went. I asked for the lightest pistol they had ('cause I was afraid I wouldnt be able to handle the recoil of a heavy gun), and they gave me a .45 caliber pistol.

One of the staff assisted me and taught me the basics - how to handle the gun, the proper stance, how to take aim, and how to pull the trigger properly. So after a few tries with a blank magazine, he declared me ready.

As he inserted the loaded magazine into the pistol, I could feel my heart start beating faster. I tried to calm myself a bit, 'cause I know my erratic pulse would affect my aim.

Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale. Exhale.

Okay, Im ready.

So I aimed. Took the proper stance. CLicked the safety button down.

Then I fired.

And I hit the bull's eye.

The Romeo and Juliet story of our time

While the whole world had its eyes on Prince William and Kate Middleton, their wedding made me recall the love story of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles. :X

Their story makes me wanna keep believing that true love still exists, that's it's not just some stuff fairy tales are made of. And to be perfectly honest, their story made me real envious.

Of course, we all know the tragedy involved in their story. Camilla married someone else when Charles went abroad as part of his military duties. Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer and had two sons. Prince Charles and Camilla committed adultery. Camilla got divorced, then Prince Charles followed suit a year later.

Tragedy all around, capped with Princess Diana's death in a violent and controversial car accident.

Of course I don't condone the whole adultery thing. It was in bad taste, regardless how you look at it. But that aside, this couple's love has survived time (think 3 decades), trials, intrigue, social standards, controversy, ridicule, public spite and censure, and even family outrage. Dare we still question their devotion, sincerity and the strength of their love for each other?

Like Romeo and Juliet before them, Prince Charles' family was a big factor for the mistakes that eventually happened. Camilla was deemed unfit for a prince not only because she was a commoner, but also because she was 16 months older than the prince and was not "virginal", which apparently was a big requirement for a royal bride. The young prince allowed himself to be dissuaded and probably broke his true love's heart because of it =((

Fast forward to more than 30 years later. They are both single, albeit with their own parental responsibilities, not to mention the same obstacles that challenged them 30 years ago. But now they are wiser, stronger, and more capable of defending their love for each other.

Let's admit it, even at his age, Prince Charles, with all his wealth, power and rank, could marry a much younger and attractive woman and have more children with her, if he so wished. But he didn't. He chose to marry a wrinkled 57-yr-old woman who he has loved since he was in his teens. He chose to validate his love for Camilla with a marriage that showed the whole world what true love is and how it should be.

In my book, that makes him a truly noble man. We should all be taking lessons from him.

This is not to take away from the romance of Prince William and Kate Middleton. True, their love story also qualifies as a modern-day fairy tale : ordinary girl marries the prince - literally. But theirs will never beat Prince Charles' and Camilla's story.

* Britain's Poet Laureate Andrew Motion has written "Spring Wedding," a poem commemorating the marriage of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles:

I took your news outdoors,

and strolled a while

In silence on my square of garden-ground

Where I could dim the roar of arguments,

Ignore the scandal-flywheel whirring round,

And hear instead the green fuse in the flower

Ignite, the breeze stretch out a shadow-hand

To ruffle blossom on its sticking points,

The blackbirds sing, and singing take their stand.

I took your news outdoors, and found the Spring

Had honored all its promises to start

Disclosing how the principles of earth

Can make a common purpose with the heart.

The heart which slips and sidles like a stream

Weighed down by winter-wreckage near its source --

But given time, and come the clearing rain,

Breaks loose to revel in its proper course.

Travel Diary continued : Copenhagen, Denmark, Feb 3, 2011

I arrived in Copenhagen at 10:00 am and immediately headed to the luggage locker area. It was a bit of a hassle since they didnt accept credit cards and I hadnt been able to get the local currency yet, so I had to go out again with all my luggage and have my money exchanged.

That done, I headed out, free map in hand. I didn't book any tours during this trip, aside from the Aurora Borealis chase. It had cost me too much for the transpo and the tour itself, so I had to cut back on everything else. But everything was within walking distance anyway, so it wasn't that big a deal.

I got lost several times, though – which was okay, except that it was 3 degrees in winter and the bitter cold wind was blowing on my face. Add to that the fatigue from the past few days, the continuous walking, and the not-so-thick apparel = body pains.

What really dragged me down was the walk in search of the statue of The Little Mermaid. I followed the streets indicated in the map, but for some reason, I couldnt find it. I finally gave up the search, but the long walk was not really a waste since I saw some pretty nice views along the way, including a lone windmill.

On my way back to the central train station, I got lost again. As I was trying to feel my way around, I stumbled on the “King's Garden”. I saw it on the map but I wasn't planning to go there anymore as it looked a bit far from the mermaid statue. But I ended up there anyway, which was a good thing because the place was gorgeous! Even with the bald trees, it was breath taking. I got good pictures there, too. It must be even more amazing during summer.

I stayed there for a while, walking through the Rosenberg castle as well. From there, I tried to find my way back to the train station again, which took me about 30 more minutes. It's a good thing that the Danish people are so friendly and are fluent in English. I asked a few people for directions along the way and I finally made it back.

Now I have to wait 3 hours til my train leaves for Stockholm. It's only 6:00pm, and Im on the 9:30pm train. I can't walk anymore, my feet are so sore. Plus it's too cold outside.

Im looking forward to that train ride, though. I booked a sleeping couchette, just so I can experience it. We'll see how it goes

To The-One-That-Got-Away

Wow. I checked your profile on the social network today and I feel like I've been hit by a 4x4 truck.

You're already in a new relationship and you're so sweet to this new girl. Your cheesiness is all over the page.

I didn't expect you to have moved on so quickly. It's like nothing happened between us. Those years of missed signals and mixed messages never existed. And those "feelings" you say you've kept for me all this time - where have they gone?

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at all. You have said your goodbyes already anyway. But a part of me thought you would be hurting just as much as I was. I thought you would wait at least a few months before looking for a new one.

I thought wrong.

Maybe I wasn't really as important to you as you said I was. Maybe you didn't really love me, and you just wanted to have a girlfriend - anyone who would be willing. And I don't like that at all. So I guess I made the right choice all along.

I have waited this long to find the one person who was meant for me. I can wait some more until I find him... until I'm sure.

I admit that right now I am still hurting. But this is really more because of what never was - what could never be. I'm not really mad at you, I'm just... sad.

Truth be told, I had already accepted our fate the moment I sent you that email. I had known then that we could never be, there's just too many factors working against us. We were only meant to be exactly what we are now - really good friends.

But acceptance does not protect me from the pain, does it? When I saw your photos together, those sweet messages, I felt a sharp pinch in my chest. That's when I realized that I had an open wound there with your name on it. But I will heal. I'm sure of it. Just give me time.

I AM sincerely grateful that we are still friends. But I just have to stay away from you for now because I need to adjust my thoughts a bit. I need to refocus, and I cant do that if we are still as close as before. I will be back, I promise. And by then, I will be the old girl you once loved, the one you still consider to be a good friend.

In the meantime, I wish you luck. I hope you have found the right person for you and I hope you find with her the happiness that you say you have been looking for.

Goodbye for now... my friend.

Change is due

You blame me for what happened to us. You say Im selfish and insensitive, that I did not appreciate the love you were giving me. That I just took you for granted.

But I didn't.

The thing is, you never really knew me. I know, I know. You keep saying you do - in fact, that you know me better than I know myself. But if that were true, why have we never understood each other properly? I never understood how much you loved me, and how much pain I was unintentionally causing you. And you never understood why I never saw any of that - you just assumed I would, without you having to say anything at all.

You see, Im not a mind reader. Our minds work differently, not only because we are wired differently, but also because we are two very unique people. That is mostly a good thing, but in our case, it proved to be our achilles' heel.

We relied too much on intuition, but our signals never matched.

It hurts, but I have to accept that maybe they were never meant to. That maybe WE were never meant to be.

You have said your goodbyes. I accept that. I hope you accept my apologies too, for whatever it's worth. I hope you eventually understand that I never meant to hurt you. I also want to be loved just as much as you do. But I'm also human and I'm not perfect. If you cannot come to terms with that, I'm sorry.

Now it's time for me to say my goodbyes. Then I will move on.

And I pray for the strength to do so.

Why does it have to be so difficult?

I still believe that love should not be so difficult. If the two of you are meant to be together, then things should be falling into place.

I had hoped that would be the case for us. But it's not.

We are not even officially together yet, and things are already so complicated. We are like in a merry-go-round. Always running after the other, but never quite meeting somewhere, anywhere.

We have been on this ride for a looong time. When are we ever gonna get off and finally meet for real? I don't mean physically, though I do enjoy your company when we are together.

But on an emotional, intellectual, spiritual level - we never quite seem to be in the same place at the same time. Things just seem to always go wrong for us, for one reason or another.

Does it mean we are not meant to be?

I do not know the answer to this yet. Do you? If you do, please tell me, because this is getting really, really painful already.

I love you, but...

That line in a song keeps popping up on my head - "Sometimes, love just ain't enough"

new adventure

First attempt to leave the country to embark on my first adventure - FAILED.

I stupidly missed to notice the arrival time of my flight in my first destination - Brussels. My Schengen visa's effectivity starts on January 25. I would be arriving in Brussels airport at 10pm - January 24.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I didn't even get to the customs officer. I was stopped right at the check-in counter. It was a good thing that I didnt check-in online as I had originally planned. Otherwise, I probably wouldnt have been able to rebook my flight :(

Oh well. There's a reason for everything. That's what I keep telling myself so I wont feel too bad about the whole thing. Haha.

Anyway, Im here at the airport again, the supposed Day 2 of my great adventure.

Im hoping things would go better this time, and that I've used up all the bad luck due me :)

Mind setting

I refuse to be sad today.
i refuse to let my emotions control me.
I refuse to let it affect me and ruin my day.
I will smile no matter what.

I have left the past year behind me.
I have left the sorrows and the heartaches.
I have left the old hopes and dreams along with it.
I should also have left... the ghost of you.

There will be a new day ahead.
There will be new hopes and dreams.
There will probably be new sorrows and heartaches (I hope not )
But... there will also be a new me.

Thank you for the inspiration.
Thank you for the sweet memories.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Thank you for the time.

I am pushing forward.
I am growing up.
I am moving on.
I am happy - and will be happier still.

I can do this... and oh yeah, i will!

12-month wishlist :-)

Because it worked out well for me last year, Im doing it again -Today, the first day of January 2011, Im posting a checklist of the things I want to happen for me this year :)

I hope I'd be able to look back on this list with a smile 12 months from now...

2011 Wishlist :

1. Ride my bike on the highway (maybe all the way to the office? Haha.)
2. Try mountain climbing / trekking (Start with Mt. Pulag and Mt. Pinatubo)
3. Be a better swimmer and get my diving certificate at last
4. See my top 3 natural wonders - Aurora Borealis, Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls
5. Be more sociable and make new friends
6. Go back to school! (sana, sana)
7. Learn a new language, maybe Spanish 'cause it's the easiest :D
8. Go see my dad (ito yata ang pinaka-challenging sa lahat!)

There you go.

Good luck to me! :-)