Full Circle

When my relationship started to fall into pieces two years ago, I crumbled inside as well. Before that significant moment, I thought I had the ideal partner – someone who understood my fleeting moods, someone who I really loved and who loved me back, someone I could see myself growing old with.

In my mind, I had already settled down. I was committed – something I thought I never wanted to do when I was younger. But this plan was also not meant to be, though we were too blind to see that right away.

As we tried to fix things over the next few months, it seemed we were also slowly falling out of love along the way. We were just too stubborn to recognize what was happening. We were like two kids who kept playing in the park in the middle of a storm, hoping that the rain will go away if we ignore it. But it never did.

When we finally admitted there was nothing left to save anymore, we called it quits. It was a bitter pill to swallow. At least for me, it was. Aside from saying goodbye to the person who’s been closest to me for the past 4 years, I had to unlearn habits that I had unconsciously formed when we were together. And the worst part of all – we had to break-up with the other’s family as well. There were a lot of broken hearts that year, not just ours.

But I guess it’s true that time heals wounds. After six months of zero communication. I was surprised and pleased that he got in touch with me to greet me a happy birthday.

That broke the ice. From there, we updated each other about the goings on in our lives – where we’ve been, what we’ve been doing, new things we’ve learned, things we wanted to do. It was nice and it was fun reminiscing.

At some point, I asked him how he was and was he doing better now. He honestly answered that in some ways, yes his life was better than when we were together.

And I think that’s true. From what he’s told me, it seems he enjoys his new job and is doing great in his new company whereas when we were together, he used to change jobs every 5 months or so and complained about everything and everybody in his workplace.

He also has a lot of future plans for himself that he didn't consider doing before – like diving, studying midwifery (yes, he’s serious about it :D ), hiking, trekking, and a lot of other outdoorsy stuff.

As for me, there have been a lot of positive changes as well – I resuscitated my dying social life, made new friends, developed closer relationships with old friends and acquaintances, saw a lot of new places and cultures, and opened myself up to new opportunities and possibilities.

I also got to take care of myself as I had a lot of spare time again. I was able to get back to my work-outs, go to the spa, watch movies, go on trips alone. I feel better and I look better (ehem ehem :D ) than when we were together. Friends tell me I even look younger now than 2 years ago because I looked to old and worn out with my problems then.

So it seems that we made the right decision in breaking-up. When we were together, we were pulling each other down without meaning to and without even realizing what we’re doing.

And now we’re back to being friends. It’s a great feeling and a nice birthday gift to me. My biggest regret when we broke-up was that I felt like I had lost my best friend. I’m happy to know that that’s not the case.

We went through so much in our 4 years together that we were able to create a bond strong enough to survive a failed romance. Though we’re not in love with each other anymore, we still love and respect the other as a person who’s made a mark in our lives.

I’ll never forget what he said to me the night before my birthday : “No matter what happened in our relationship, you are still the best friend I have ever had”.