To where you are

It's a little sad and pathetic when you are with somebody and you still feel lonely.

And that's what I am right now. Sad. Pathetic.

I have this great guy who makes me laugh and looks out for me and genuinely cares for me, and yet, it's YOU I want.

You're a thousand miles away from me, and yet...

it's Your eyes I see when I look at him.

it's Your laughter I hear.

it's Your smile I long for.

it's Your hands I reach out to.

I want to kick myself for feeling this way.

I'm not being fair to this guy. And I'm not being fair to myself.

I go to sleep willing myself to think of him. And yet, I still dream of you.

I miss you.

Despite the number of times you've hurt me. Despite how many times you've taken me for granted. Despite the major way in which you've messed with my head.

I miss you.

I guess Im a closet masochist after all. =((

This guy asked me the other day if I had any dream place left, since I'm done with my old dream places.

I thought for a while, then I eventually told him no, I don't have a new dream place yet but that I'd tell him once I found a new one.

I lied.

Truth is, I didn't have to even think about it. I knew what my dream place is, I just didn't have the heart to tell him.

It's wherever you are. :X