Why Me?

I was living quietly, relatively happy, in my own little corner of the world. You came by and made some noise, kicking at the dust that had settled down around me.

I looked at you and willed you to go away and leave me in peace. But you just wouldn't. You kept bugging me to get up and LIVE - nudging me a bit when I wouldn't budge.

I tried to avoid you. I truly did. Maybe even as early as then, I knew you spelled trouble for me. My self-preservation instincts kicked in. I didn't realize it at the time, but you scared me.

There was something about you that was too forceful, too powerful for me to ignore. Subconsciously, I knew that if I let you in, I would be trapped.

So I fought to stay in my safe little world. I made myself busy so I had valid reasons not to be with you. I kept you at bay. I even hid from you at times.

But you were so stubborn. You just wouldn't let me be. I was doomed.

Against my better judgment, I tentatively placed my hand in yours as you helped me get up and go out. Ever so slowly, I took baby steps to explore this new world that you wanted to open up for me.

It took a long time, but I was finally there. This new world was fun, exciting, and gave me this warm feeling that I'd missed for so long. Soon - too soon - I was hooked.

It was then that I felt the change. You started pulling back for no apparent reason. I was confused. Only a moment ago, we were so happy and were enjoying each other's company. The next moment - you were gone.

The warmth was suddenly replaced by a freezing coldness. Stripped of all the protective layers that I had built around myself, you left me shivering out in the open. I was not prepared.

So now, Im lost. How do I find my way back to my safe little world? How do I get back the happiness that I had before you came? How do I cope?

If you had simply lost interest, that would have been fine. I just wish that you hadn't just dropped me like that. The least you could have done was lead me back home.