Born to Live

I would like to be a flower which blooms to full glory and dies,

Than be an everlasting tree that never blossoms.

I would like to be a spark that burns with a brilliant blaze, even for but a moment,

Than be a light which cannot show path to anyone.

I would like to be a superb meteor which carries a magnificent glow,

Than be a sleepy and permanent planet.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

I shall use my time.

I am born to Live. Not to Exist.

-author unknown

Law of the Post-it

I've been watching the 6th season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD over the weekend.

The love story between two of the main characters - Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd - was a bit overdrawn (they only finally got together on the 5th season). Then, as they were about to get married in church, something happened and their friends got married in their place.

There are a lot of loopholes in the story, but what I liked was what Meredith and Derek did in lieu of their wedding... they wrote their vows to each other on a Post-it note. They decided to vow:
(1) they would love each other even when they hated each other;
(2) no one could leave or run away; and
(3) they’d take care of each other when they were old and senile.

There was this episode in season 6 where Meredith and Derek were debating whether or not to honor friendship vs duty. The debate eventually escalated into a full-blown argument. Then before their verbal war became worse, Meredith said "I call on the post-it".

That was like an emergency brake which effectively put a stop to the argument. It was a reminder to both of them that they were partners, not enemies; that they should be supportive of, and not detrimental to, each other; that they should find a compromise and not let their difference in opinion get between them.

I find that scene very inspiring. I would gladly take a "post-it wedding" with real commitment over an elaborate church wedding with half-hearted promises any time.

There is a certain comfort in knowing that your partner is staying with you because he wants to, that it is a conscious decision that he makes every day, no matter what. It feels more real that way, rather than stories I hear about people staying together because they can't get divorced or separated, or because of the kids.

That's just no way to live.

And so I will always keep in mind the law of the post-it